Understanding And Managing Stress

In this episode, Kate dives into the complex topic of stress, exploring its different stages, common responses, and practical techniques for managing it. She discusses how societal pressures, career demands, and social media can intensify stress, leading to burnout if not addressed. The episode explains the "fight, flight, freeze, and fawn" responses, with a particular focus on the lesser-known "fawn" response, where people may overly prioritise others' needs at the expense of their own. Kate also provides tools to recognise and manage stress, including grounding techniques, emotional validation, and belief-reframing exercises inspired by Byron Katie’s "The Work." The episode concludes with an introduction to the "Alignment Breakthrough Audit," a new service offered by Kate designed to help you identify and realign your energy (without meeting for a session with her live), empowering you to approach life with clarity and balance and dip your toe into your energetic work if this is a new concept for you.

• To download the 'Discover Your Values' pdf - click here.
• To check out Byron Katie's work (including the list of the questions) - click here.
• To learn more about the Alignment Breakthrough Audit with Kate - click here.

Thanks for listening!

Love the episode? Please leave a review
Download: DIY Energy Type PDF here.
Let’s connect: www.instagram.com/katekahl_kinesiologist
Find out more about working with me here.

Transcript

Hello guys. Welcome back to another episode. Today we are going to be talking about stress. Stress is something that I had no proper concept of until I was running my family's company. We had over 20 staff to look after across 5 different businesses, and I remember starting to Google, "What is stress?" I figured what I was experiencing might be stress because I felt a constriction in my chest, a tightness. I wasn’t sleeping well, I worried about everything, and I had this need to control things that felt uncontrollable. If you experience stress, you may recognize some of these symptoms, and today, we’ll discuss others as well.

Stress is a big issue in society now. We face so much pressure to perform in our careers, and with technology, there’s an expectation that we’re always available. Social media adds another layer, as we constantly see what others are doing, leading to "comparisonitis." We end up feeling like we’re not enough, not as successful, and like we’re falling behind. Life’s pace has become fast, almost overwhelming. COVID, for all the challenges it brought, gave us a chance to slow down, re-evaluate, and for many, make positive changes, like leaving unfulfilling jobs or relationships. It forced us to ask: are we aligned with our true desires?

Stress activates our "fire element," which energizes us to meet challenges, but there are different levels of stress. Stage 1 stress is short-term stress, like needing to meet a deadline. This type can be healthy because we feel in control and empowered to complete our tasks. Stage 2, or medium-term stress, may last a few months and often involves bigger projects. Our thyroid and adrenals help us handle this, keeping us motivated and excited. But it becomes problematic if this stress is for something we don’t care about, leading to exhaustion because it’s not connected to our heart. Stage 3 is long-term stress, often spanning years, which can lead to burnout, where even muscle testing can show a lack of energy in the body.

If you reach burnout, you can heal, but it requires time and significant changes in your life and mindset. You must walk back through the path you took to reach this point, which can be uncomfortable but also rewarding. The three stages of stress each bring a default response. You might go into "flight," where anxiety leads you to disengage; "fight," where anger fuels confrontation; "freeze," which leads to shutdown and numbness; or the "fawn" response. Fawning is fascinating and involves focusing entirely on others’ needs to survive, often seen in narcissistic relationships. It can lead to people-pleasing, losing self-identity, and becoming codependent.

Fawning might show up as avoiding speaking up about your preferences, downplaying your priorities, and constantly putting yourself down. It’s a pattern where you might take on careers or roles to please others or downplay your own needs. Fawning can differ from being kind and selfless; it’s more extreme and often comes with chronic stress, even physical symptoms. To overcome fawning, start by asking, "Is my heart on board with what I’m saying or doing?" Also, explore if your actions align with your values. You may need to reconnect with yourself, discover your true values, and ask if you’re acting authentically.

To heal from stress responses, it’s essential to validate your own feelings. Even if someone criticizes you, remind yourself that you’re doing your best. Say affirmations like, "I am safe. I choose to show up anyway." In addressing stress, it’s also valuable to ask why you’re reacting a certain way. Specific energy types might have tendencies toward certain responses: for example, fight might be common in wood or fire types, while flight can appear in fire and water types. If you can identify the emotion under your stress, try to locate where you feel it in your body, breathe into it, and allow it to release.

Stress, ultimately, takes us out of the present moment. While some stress is positive, helping us grow, other types feel like survival threats and lead to the same fight-or-flight reaction as if we were facing physical danger. The first step in managing stress is evaluating your genuine safety in a situation. If you’re safe but still stressed, you’re likely dealing with mental or emotional stress. Ask yourself, "What is this stress trying to tell me?" Listen to your inner voice and allow yourself to confront the truth.

If you can’t determine what the stress is communicating, identify the underlying emotion. Where do you feel it in your body? Focus on that area, breathe deeply, and practice acceptance and release. Follow this with loving affirmations. Ground yourself by feeling the weight of your body on the chair or bed, connecting to the earth. Peace and healing are available in the body if you allow it.

Internal stress often stems from limiting beliefs. Questioning these beliefs can shift our feelings and behaviors. A process I love for this is Byron Katie’s "The Work," which involves asking, "Is this belief true?" and examining the impact of that belief on your life. For instance, if you believe, "I will never meet my soulmate," it’s powerful to explore this belief deeply, understand its effect on your actions, and then reframe it. Changing limiting beliefs can create a new reality.

Byron Katie’s approach, alongside techniques like Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and affirmations, can help shift beliefs at a mental, emotional, and energetic level. Awareness and an openness to miracles allow us to release stress and see life differently, reminding us that we’re in control. When we take ownership of our beliefs and how they shape our reality, we find true freedom. This is the foundation of my business motto: Align, Do, Become. Align with new beliefs, take aligned actions, and become the version of yourself who naturally attracts what you desire.

I’ll put together a PDF with these questions and examples, so you can try this process as a journaling exercise or with a friend. Also, I wanted to introduce my "Alignment Breakthrough Audit." This is a great intro to energy work if you’re new to it. You’ll receive questions to fill out, and I’ll review them, identifying energy imbalances and suggesting remedies and action steps. This audit is available for only $55, and I’ll send a video and report afterward, which you can go through in your own time.

If a live session resonates more, those are available as well. Live sessions are the most potent and powerful way to work on alignment. I hope today’s episode on stress has given you tools to find relief and clarity. Have a great week, and I’ll see you next time. Sending love—bye!